My Uncle Buck

Puccini's Tosca and Tips for Using Vaseline

2006-04-16T17:25:00.000-04:00

. . . Quite A title for this post eh ? Bet that got your attention ! But never let it be said that good old Uncle Buck can't combine culture with a few old fashioned everyday tips. So this time around I'm combining my recent trip to the Opera with a couple tips you may or may not be familiar with.

. . . Ahhhh, the Opera !! That bastion of good taste and the finer things in life. Now I'd never been to the Opera before but when my dear sister Susan and her devoted husband Rand invited my wife to the Benedum Theatre in Pittsburgh to see a performance of Puccini's "Tosca" I thought it was a fabulous idea. Except for one little problem. They didn't invite me !! I guess they figured I wasn't cultured enough to appreciate the finer things in life. Either that or they thought I'd be bored out of my socks. Turns out it was the latter and they were pretty much right. But once I pointed out their error they immediately corrected it and included me in the festivities. Oh boy, Oh boy . . . I get to go to the Opera !! Turns out that would be the only time I would be excited through the whole thing !!

. . . Now my experience with the Opera is from two sources. The scene in the movie "Moonstruck" where Cher's character gets to go to the Met and Merry Melodies cartoons . . . period. I figured this was going to be an exciting event and would be a chance to see how the "other half" lives. I was sure all the women there would be dressed in beautiful gowns and dresses and the men would be in suits, sportcoats and the occasional tux. I mean, it was a Sunday matinee performance but that wouldn't make any difference to the elite of the Pittsburgh area. I was sure they would all be dressed in their best finery. And then there would be the performance itself !! Big women in Vikings helmets and bronze bra's singing their lungs out. Tenors who would shake the very chandeliers above our heads with their powerful voices. Stories of unrequited love, big battles, folks being poisoned, stabbed with swords or shot right there on the stage !! WOW !! Now that's entertainment !!

. . . Unfortunately it turned out to be another one of my fantasies shot to hell. Now don't get me wrong, it was an eye opening experience. Just not the one I expected. First off let's talk about the theatre itself. A beautiful place, the Benedum and it has been beautifully remodeled and brought back to it's former magnificence. But the first thing that caught my attention was a fully stocked bar at every seating level and we're not talking about beer and soft drinks here folks. We're talking wines, hard liquors, apertifs, cordials etc. ( In another life I used to be a bartender.) I must admit I was a little puzzled. Why would you want to get your patrons half smashed before and during the performance ? One Opera custom I should mention here is the multiple intermissions. You can drink before it starts, at the end of act one, at the end of act two etc. etc.. The only limits are how many acts the Opera has. I was soon to learn why this custom is so important. It was the ONLY way to get through this "entertainment". I have to admit I'm not the drinker I used to be and after having a glass of wine I was ready to get comfortable in my seat and enjoy the show, err I mean performance. It was then that I started looking about at my fellow theatre goers. If this was an example of the "elite" of the Pittsburgh area, they sorely needed instruction in dressing for the Opera !! The men were in anything from sport shirts to sweaters. And not even expensive sport shirts from a good department store !! Ties were a rarity and I'd be willing to bet there were a lot of outfits from Kmart and that Wal**** place. The ladies weren't much better. I even saw some college age young ladies in flip-flops !! Where was Cher when I needed her ????

. . . We went in and found our seats and got ready for the show, err performance. The orchestra was tuning up and making all those strange sounds orchestras make right before they start playing for real. Kind of amazing they sound that good actually considering it sounds like they made multiple visits to the bar !! But then the conductor shows up, cracks the whip (baton) and they begin to play correctly. The curtain opened and I have to admit the scenery was beautiful. It really did look like half of a church down there. Where the other half was I have no idea, but it was too late to ask questions. One of the leading men came on stage and started singing in Italian. Now someone that worked at the theatre must have gotten a look at the crowd that day and decided that very few, if any, would understand Italian so they very thoughtfully projected subtitles above the stage so us mere mortals would have some idea what the hell they were singing about. Turns out that in an Opera they sing about anything and everything !! I'd looked through the program and had a little bit of an idea what the story was about but to tell the truth, there was so little plot to the thing that it really wasn't much of a challenge to follow along. Let's just say this ain't Pulitzer Prize for Literature material here folks. I was looking forward to the leading lady arriving on the scene because there was a picture of her in the program and I figured she was going to be the high point of the show, err performance. She was quite a looker ! Well let's just say that she must have visited Glamour Shots the day she had the portrait taken because when she finally arrived on the stage she looked like somebody that could play defensive lineman for the Pittsburgh Steelers !!! And she wasn't even wearing the Viking horns !!!!!!!!! What a bummer !! By the second act I was nearly snoozing in my seat. My loving wife kept giving me the elbow to make sure I didn't start snoring. She claims I would have drowned out the tenor with no problem if I had really gotten going.

. . . All in all it was a very eye opening (and eye closing) experience. I recommend it highly to all of you, especially the insomniacs among our readers. Between the booze and the boredom, if this doesn't send you to slumber land, NOTHING WILL !!!

. . . OK, now on to a couple of handy tips us mere mortals can use every day. Vaseline is handy stuff to have around and here's a couple of uses you may not be familiar with. It's summer time (almost) and that means grass stains. Especially if you have kids. Try rubbing a little Vaseline into the stain and then washing in warm sudsy water. Like magic, no more grass stains ! If you plan on doing some painting around the house this summer here's another handy little trick. Smear a light coating of petroleum jelly on hinges, door knobs etc. before you start painting. Any paint drips will wipe right off and you'll cut way down on the amount of cleanup you have to do when you're finished ! Personally I hate to paint so all suggestions like this are gratefully appreciated.

. . . Talk to ya. - Uncle Buck

Sunday Dinner

2006-04-06T15:25:00.000-04:00

First let me announce that Spring has finally appeared in Southwest Pennsylvania. I can tell because the ice has finally melted in our bird bath. I was told by an MD some years back that this area of the country gets just about the least amount of sunshine of anywhere in the U.S. and I believe it. If you're looking for grumpy, pale people you have to look no farther than this corner of Pa. In the winter !! A season which seems to last forever. But now the robins have appeared and, other than a coating of snow yesterday morning, spring and then summer seem inevitable. On the downside it means cutting grass weekly and cleaning up the "cow pasture" out back that our resident bovine (actually a Doberman named Sadie) uses for her toilet facility. But I can live with that as long as the temperature is above 60. Amen !!

About now you're wondering "Isn't this post supposed to be about Sunday dinner ?". And you would be right. But I couldn't help rambling a bit about the weather. Spring Fever you know. Anyway, when I was a kid, lo those many years ago, we always looked forward to going to my Grandmothers for leftover Sunday dinner. We rarely actually got invited for dinner itself (you'ld have to have known Grandma to understand) but if our timing was right we would get leftover roast beef and noodles. We loved Grandma's noodles !! They were dark and slippery (fat wasn't a bad word back then) and delicious. I've never been able to duplicate the noodles, I'm still working on it. But I have finally duplicated the roast. And if I do say so myself, it's fabulous !! I fix it with potatoes and carrots, just like old fashioned pot roast, and to give you and idea how good it is I'll tell you this little story. My sister in law Shirl lives in Ohio and comes in to visit family every so often. One Sunday she showed up here to visit with her sister (Aunt Jan). Well I knew she was coming so I bought an extra large roast. But unbeknownst to me she really didn't like meat. (Un-American if you ask me.) Anyway to make a long story short she fell in love with my roast and has been fixing it regularly at home ever since !! Now you know if I can convert a closet vegetarian this stuff has got to be good. So here's the directions for fixing your own fabulous roast.

Step one, buy a nice sized chuck roast. Now you can use other cuts but chuck seems to have a better flavor and also flavors the potatoes and carrots better. Yes I know there is a fair amount of fat in chuck but if you want flavor in your comfort food you'll just have to deal with it !! You'll also need some Adolph's Meat Tenderizer and I use McCormicks Monterey Steak Seasoning. You'll also need some beef bullion.

Prepare two cups of beef bullion. Sprinkle the roast with the tenderizer liberally and pierce deeply with a fork. Do this on both sides. Then sprinkle lightly with the seasoning on one side. Heat a large skillet and brown the roast well. Nothing worse than a pale roast !! Once the roast is nice and brown reduce the heat and pour in the bullion. Once things settle down you want your roast to be simmering, but just lightly !! The reason is you're going to cover it and let it simmer for three or four hours. You'll know when it's done because it will literally begin to fall apart when you try to remove it from the skillet, which you're going to do next.

OK, once your roast is done remove it from the skillet and put it on a platter in a low (about 200) oven. This helps finish the browning but the roast will still be nice and moist inside. Now take your carrots and chop them into small pieces. Add them to the broth in the skillet and bring it to a low boil, just so it's bubbling a little. (At this point you may have to add more bullion or a little water so that you have enough liquid to cook the vegetables.) Let the carrots cook a little while you peel and cut your potates into small chunks. Then add the potatoes and let the whole thing simmer for another 10 or 15 minute or so. Serve the vegetables in a big bowl with the broth. And there you have it, a Sunday dinner fit for a king and queen !! Try it and I know you'll love it !!

Why A Blog ?

2006-03-28T16:33:00.000-05:00

Gee that's a good question ! Matter of fact Mrs. Uncle Buck asked the same thing ! (From now on let's just call her "Aunt Jan" . It will make things a lot easier for everybody !) Well, I actually had a couple good reasons for starting this.

For one it's the now, happening, the bomb, the best, the real deal, the ultimate etc. etc. thing to do. Sorry but I have a tough time keeping up with the latest slang so if you would like to add to that list, feel free. Second being in this internet business has given me access to sources that some people never see so this is a way to share information that I come across, from time to time. Third it's a way to share what I've learned just from living this long. No, I'm not ancient. I'll turn 57 in July. But age is a very relative thing and while to some I'll appear young to others I'll look as old as the hills !! In 56 plus years you learn quite a bit about life and living and this blog thing gives me a chance to share some of what I've learned. And last, but certainly not least, it allows us all to share !! We get literally hundreds of visitors a week to www.myunclebuck.com and this will finally give us all a way to communicate !

I think that's the part I'm looking forward to the most. Hearing from you !! Your opinions of our site, our products, things you like, things you don't like. Things you can't find, see, do or figure out. Hopefully when it's all said and done, I'll learn from you and you'll learn from me. And really that's the true essence of what life is all about !!

So now we start this "blog thing" journey. I'm kind of excited about it and I hope that eventually you will be too ! Besides, as a guy who's been in sales and marketing since I was a kid, it gives me a chance to talk and if there's one thing a salesman loves it's the sound of his own voice !!